10th

I’ve been looking forward for 2020 to finish ever since its started not only because of the pandemic (or all the other events that came with it) but also because it would mark my 10th year in the workforce. I tried to be more active in blogging but I just couldn’t find the energy to finish a post. If you can only see all my unfinished drafts. I have a lot of ideas but I can’t seem to put them into words or at least finish them with a coherent thought.

This was captured during a dinner I had with friends at Pepper Lunch in SM Megamall Atrium. I remember ordering the cheapest in the menu. The sizzling tuna meal with rice and a lot of mayonnaise.

I ought to write what I had learned in my 10 year up and down journey as an employee. How I didn’t intend to stay at a company for 10 years. My first job. How I as a millennial, was an outlier and was expected to jump from one company to another, take up masters or open a business of my own. Be the boss and not the employee. How I worked hard to be promoted and failed. How I almost resigned. Or how I drowned myself in travel and countless activities just to move on. How I finally got promoted. How everything came full circle in the last five years. How I realized the wisdom I gained from the last decade. That I was on the moving towards the right end of the normal curve of the workforce age range. I was older but wiser.

Second year at work when we received an award. There was no Instagram yet at that time so I have a whole album in my Facebook.

But scrap that. ( Passive-agressive much? Haha! ) Everything you need to know is in some other self-help post anyway. I don’t want to babble about the same things I wrote in my 5th year post.

Maybe the pandemic made realize that my experiences weren’t special. My journey wasn’t something I can put on a story time session in Tiktok. It was what it was. Working and earning money. Friends coming and going. Fleeting accomplishments.

That time I was Pennywise for a day. My skin suffered and I gained a pimple that I had to Belo-fy the next day. But everyone loved Pennywise. Not the little kids though.

I’d like to believe that I made a mark in the workforce. That I was one of the best. Or at least I did my job well. Maybe I didn’t. Maybe it was all in my head. Or maybe not.

At the end of the day, I’m just as replaceable as anyone else.

When I was young, I dreamed of changing the world. This is the vision of Amiciness. Don’t get me wrong. It’s still a dream. But yeah, the pandemic has really left me on a state of limbo. I still do my best each time. Each time. But I do wonder if it is even worth it.

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