No matter how nice you get, people will still treat you differently.
Well, maybe not always always. But we all know the feeling of being left out. Being the last one to be picked for a team in a game of patintero. Walking quickly so your friends would catch up with you, but they don’t. Walking slowly so your officemates can catch up with you, but you’re still left walking alone. No one liking your posts on social media. Petty, but understandable. You were the odd man out. Always on the outside looking in. And you can’t do anything but endure the burning in your eyes, on your face, to your ears, and down to your neck. Because you feel out of place. Because you feel different.
It’s an awful feeling, I know. I have friends who I do treat as close or perhaps best friends. But I don’t get the same treatment back. I know that I should not expect that they’d care for me the way I do. Expectations ruin things but there are valid ones. Right? To consider a friend, a friend, he has to treat you like one. Right?
I didn’t know that friendship, like love, can be unrequited too. And it hurts as much.
Friendship is not as unconditional as a mother’s love. You can only give so much. You give and you give and you give. Before you know it and before you’d stop. You won’t be able to recognize yourself anymore.
Because I was treated differently, I became different. I became indifferent.
I’m not broken.
