This is a review, not of John Green’s original English edition of “The Fault In Our Stars,” but of National Book Store’s Filipino edition translated by esteemed Filipino writer and professor Danton Remoto.
The release of the Filipino edition of TFIOS (timed with the movie release a couple of weeks ago) was met with uproar and criticism from the novel’s fans. Just look at this Facebook post by National Bookstore announcing the release.
(TL;DR at the end of this post.)
TFIOS is not the first young adult novel to be translated into Filipino, and as is the case with TFIOS, those translated novels, including the “50 Shades” trilogy, and the “Harry Potter” series, also received similar comments, mostly ridiculing the language.
The usual reaction is that Tagalog or Filipino sounds corny or out of fashion:
Not against the language? I can accept that the vocabulary is lacking when translating certain English words, but calling it “corny”? Okay.
That’s probably because it’s a translation. The translation would then have Juan Luntian’s essence. Okay.
To understand these comments, you have to understand that Filipinos look at English as a superior language. It is a status symbol — anyone who can speak English is educated; have an American or English accent, then you’re rich, and part of high society. No one wants to use and be associated with the poor man’s language.
There are those hopeful that with Danton Remoto at the helm, this wouldn’t be a disaster, as others say:
Naturally, I wanted to see for myself what the fuss was about. I bought myself a copy for 165 pesos (less than 4 USD), almost half the price of the original.
The first word I can use to describe the work is half-baked. I don’t know how much time Mr. Remoto or his staff were given to finish writing. If I were a teacher marking a student’s essay, this would be filled with red marks for grammatical, spelling, and usage errors.
It doesn’t read like it’s a 90’s telenovela or a romance pocketbook. I don’t know how to describe it. The closest I could think of is the now-famous Wattpad stories turned books, such as book-turned-blockbuster-movie “Diary ng Panget” (The Diary of an Ugly Person). It’s not deep, classical, “old-fashioned” Tagalog, but more Taglish (code-switching between Tagalog [de facto Filipino] and English).
When you read it, you would feel that each chapter was done by a different person. For example, the color “blue” is left untranslated… until it gets (rightfully) translated to “bughaw” by Chapter 9.
If the book had an editor, then he/she did not do a good job of proofreading, and making sure that the translations are consistent chapter by chapter. So, I did his/her job and found that the errors fall under these categories:
1. The (seemingly) deliberate choice to leave some (fairly common) words untranslated.
Words like “leg” (binti in Tagalog), the aforementioned “blue” (bughaw or asul [from Spanish azul]), and in some chapters “parents” (magulang) are left unchanged. However, “teenager” is translated as “tin-edyer.” Oh my God, stop messing with me.
Also, the expressions “as if,” “or whatever,” “or something,” and “oh my God,” are left untranslated. I can’t comment on these ones, as I can’t think of perfectly acceptable Filipino equivalents (Is “O Diyos ko” colloquial or is it antiquated and only used in religious contexts? Maybe the contracted “Jusko” works?)
2. Basic grammar and usage errors, such as double plurals, and interchanging ng and nang
You don’t need to use “mga” (the particle in Tagalog to signify plural) with the already plural form of the English word. Not mga Wishes, but mga Wish; not mga survivors, but mga survivor; not mga Genies, but mga Genie; not mga Lancasters but mga Lancaster.
Oh, ng and nang. Different words that sound the same, but do not quite function the same. On almost every page I see a sentence confusing ng for nang, and vice versa. Tip: If preceding an adverb (pang-abay) the correct word to use is most likely nang, e.g. nang bahagya, nang konti.
3. A lot of typographical errors
…which is a very sure sign of the lack of editing and proofreading.
I guess what would interest, you the reader, the most is how the character’s key lines were translated. Here’s a rundown:
The metaphor speech
Isa itong metapora, tingnan mo: Ilalagay mo ang nakamamatay na bagay sa pagitan ng iyong mga labi, pero di mo ito biinibigyan ng kapangyarihang pumatay.
Pain demands to be felt
Iyan ang kakaiba sa sakit. Gusto niyang maramdaman natin siya.
“Okay. Okay.”
Oh, my God, huwag kang makipag-flirt sa akin.
“The world is not a wish-granting factory.”
Ang mundo ay hindi naman pabrikang nagbibigay ng lahat ng ating mga hiling.
“Some infinities are larger than other infinities.”
Ang ibang mga walang-katapusa’y mas malaki sa iba pang mga walang-katapusan.
Bonus: “Everything’s coming up Waters.”
Lahat ay papunta na kay Waters. (WHUT?)
Also in the Shakespeare quote, “fault in our stars” is translated as ”kamalian ng ating mga bituin.”
So what do you think? Did anyone else buy this particular edition of the book? Is anyone planning to buy the translated edition?
TL;DR:
- There’s nothing wrong with having Filipino translations of foreign language books.
- The work done on this particular translation is lacking. More work needs to be done with editing, proofreading, and making sure that the translation is consistent. This should be a cautionary tale for works that will be translated in the future.
- Why did I write this review in English? Because I choose to. Does anyone want to read the same review in Tagalog?